The Right Way to End Something

Jason and I just may debate this until the end of time. I say that if you have only been dating someone for a short period of time, it is ok to “dodge and weave” your way out of the relationship. He says that the not only fair, but most effective thing to do is to “punch”. Sure, his way is more direct, more to the point, but mine spares feelings, allows dignity to remain intact, and avoids the beast that most of us fear – conflict.

My recent pondering of this eternal question has been brought about by my situation with Tall Guy. After three weeks of dating, and countless hours trying to convince myself that I could train him to stop going to the Tobacco Company and that I could learn to live with a man who had a small collection of NASCAR memorabilia, I realized that no matter how nice, chivalrous, and family-oriented he was….

“He-ey, let your honesty, shine, shine, shine on me…”

Shit, pardon the interruption. I just can’t help myself when Simon and Garfunkel are on. Their lyrics make me want to cry.

Ok, ok. Point is, it just wasn’t going to work out with Tall Guy. Since we’d only been dating for a short period of time, I rationalized that he would quickly get the hint, and surely not be too heartbroken. Operation “Dodge and Weave” was quickly put into effect. It was actually going pretty well, until we ended up at the same party this past weekend.

To be fair to myself, I had a lot going on that evening. My brother was visiting, so I had to introduce him around. I was avoiding TG and trying not to let him see me roll my eyes every time he opened his mouth. PLUS, Jamie and brought her friend, Faux-hawk guy, who she has been trying to set me up with for a month. So who is to say whether TG was actually upset about seeing me off in a corner laughing and flirting with Faux-hawk, but let’s just say that fairly early in the evening (by rock star standards, anyway), he was throwing up and then passed out on the bathroom floor. I don’t know when the fuck he got so drunk, but I’m not sure if the guy is a serious lightweight, or he decided to do some major binge drinking. Either way – NOT HOT.

So the question is, was his embarrassing display a direct result of my “dodge and weave”? Admittedly, after this charade I definitely felt guilty for not having been more direct and honest. I mean, Lord knows that if anything could have been done to prevent him having to be the laughing stock of the party, I would have done it.

Should I feel at least slightly responsible, or am I being self-important and arrogant for allowing myself to indulge in the possibility that I could have that much influence over someone?

To “dodge and weave” or to “punch” – that is the question. At least in my book.