Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Parts of me

This morning I was fine. I came into work in a relatively cheery mood and busied myself with taking care of a few bills, fillng my social calendar for the rest of the week, and getting more than my fair share of coffee. Yeah, it sucks that I found out that he doesn't want a commitment, but I can move on. I'll use this time to take care of shit and move on.

Then around 11am the funk sunk in. Maybe it's because I'm so incredibly bored, but I've definitely been wallowing in self-pity since then. I'm really trying not to, but with this new disappointment all of the old ones, the ones that I had been doing a pretty good job is displacing for the last month or so, have come flooding back. The failed relationships, the job dissatisfaction, the general unrest and wondering what to do with my life...

I'm not sure what to do. He wants to be friends. Hell, he actually still wants to date me, but he knows that it's not a perfect world and that I won't be able to backtrack like that.

Part of me knows that the mature thing to do would be to remain friends, and the other part of me wants to regain control of the situation by telling him to have a nice life and move on.

Part of me knows that I need to look for a new job, but the other part of me just doesn't know what I want to do.

Part of me wants to be strong and forge on, and the other part of me wants to run and hide.


Blogger DC Cookie said...

I am a firm believer that it's difficult to remain friendly until both parties are fully comfortable with that idea. There's no shame in not returning his phone calls until after the disappointment has passed.

4:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anyone who doesn't jump at the chance to date you and only you is an idiot. And I don't like idiots, therefore I do not like him.

Speaking of idiots, I can't figure out how to sign in, so I have to click anonymous...but it's really your ol' pal, Christina. Miss you!

4:35 PM  

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