Monday, April 24, 2006

Out of sight, out of mind

Today's world moves fast, and I am one of those people who can definitely keep up with the other runners. I'm a complete victim of the MTV-era - used to lots of different images and stimuli coming at me quickly and then vanishing, and having to process and move on. I think fast, talk fast, get bored fast, and am constantly looking around for something, or someone, new.

When I got the email from Lawyer McDreamy this weekend, I was perplexed. Now, Lord only knows what he meant by saying that he "misses" me. Maybe he hasn't had as much luck getting other dates as he thought he would. Maybe he is still looking for a group of friends to slide into. Maybe he realized what an idiot he was to have not snapped me up when he had the chance... ahem. Sorry. Anyway, I'm not sure that I'll ever find out, or really care. I do intend on emailing him back at some point, and maybe even getting together, but after I got over the initial surprise of the email I realized something.

I hadn't missed him. Sure, when we first stopped seeing each other, I had a rough few days. I was disappointed and mad at him for... well, for disappointing me. (Eloquently put, huh?) But you know what happened? I moved on - fast. I hung out with friends, I went to Europe, I started a new job, and within a week he was no longer even on my radar.


So thinking about that got me thinking about what Jack's grandfather said. It's not about finding someone you can live with, it's about finding someone you can't live without.

There are certain men in my life who constantly reappear in my psyche - the high school boyfriend, the piano player from Boston, the wedding hookup, the guy I worked with for a few months in college - these guys pop back into my mind on a semi-regular basis because of the connection that we shared. Even though some of them I only knew for a brief amount of time, they all have one thing in common - when I met each of them I was blown away by the connection that I felt. They all seemed to get me, even when they barely knew me. And even if those relationships didn't work out (yet), it's that connection that I felt that keeps me coming back for more. Keeps me looking. Keeps me from wrapping myself up too tightly with one of the "out of sight, out of mind" guys.

Sure, Lawyer McDreamy was fun. And who knows, there might be more fun for us in the future. But I learned that I can live without him a bit too easily.


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