Sunday, September 03, 2006


Anyone who has known me for an extended period of time knows that I am not at all afraid of big changes.

Long hair? Chop it off!

When it's summer, I can't wait for fall. At the end of high school, I was ready for college. Senior year of college, I itched to get out into the real world.

When I'm single, I long for someone to date. When I'm dating someone, I want my freedom back.

Impromptu, unplanned weekend trip? Bring it!

I'll pick up my whole life and move so quickly that some people who know me are left in a cloud of dust scratching their heads.

And lord knows I am not afraid to change jobs. Take my last switch, for instance. Those who know me well were excited. Those who don't know me well just blinked a few times and said, "Again?" when I announced the news that I was starting something new.

But for some reason, yesterday when my friend suggested that I sell my bulky camera on e-Bay and get something more compact so that I could actually use it in most situations, I kinda balked.

"Come on," she said, "let's just put a notice up on Craigslist and we'll see how much you can get for it."

"Um, let me think about it for a few days."

Very un-Rees-like.

Or is it? I've been complaining about my cumbersome camera for months, why not just do something about it? Then I started thinking about other little things, like the old workout socks that were full of holes that I finally replaced two weeks ago - after about four years. The stupid paper yellow cat lamp that I know is silly-looking, but that I've had since college and can't bring myself to throw away, no matter how much of an eyesore it is to my living room. But why would I get rid of it? It's a perfectly good lamp.

Could it be that I'm so intrinsically cheap that it takes me four years to convince myself to spend $10 on new socks and sources of light? Or is it that these old items provide some sense of grounding and security in a life that enjoys turning on a dime? It's like they're relics of who I am now, who I was then, and that journey of becoming. Maybe my hesitancy to get rid of my camera is because it was a Christmas gift, and therefore something to treasure, no matter how inconvenient.

Or maybe I'm just too lazy to deal with selling it and buying a new one. (Did I also mention that in addition to not being afraid of change, I'm also not afraid of overanalyzation?)


Blogger Buffy said...

Old 'things' depress me. Mostly because they remind me I'm no longer 21.

10:54 PM  
Blogger Marcy said...

I figure people have gotta be full of contradictions. Otherwise, what would we overanalyze about ourselves? ; )

12:11 AM  
Blogger Eggnoger said...

Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.
Walt Whitman

4:32 AM  
Blogger ubergirlelijah said...

Allow me to not leave a clever comment whatsoever, but rather to say that you are a most excellent writer. Seriously. I LOVE Aquarians!

7:30 AM  

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