Sunday, October 15, 2006

To Do before I leave for Hawaii one week from today

Considering the fact that at 8am next Sunday, the 22nd, I'll be on a plane headed for paradise, there are a few things that I need to get done in the next few days:

- Pedicure. (Also applicable for the wedding I'll be singing in the night before.)

- Bikini wax. (First ever - yikes!)

- Make copy of house keys for friend who will be taking care of the cat.

- Make sure every single client knows that I will be out of town, and will know how to get orders while I'm away.

- Convince pharmacist to fill birth control one week early.

- Get out the fifteen stitches that are somehow the result of having two measly moles removed. (Good thing you guys can't see me right now. I look like I was in a knife fight.)

- Actually start planning my trip. For instance, how will I get from the airport to the hotel? What kind of things do I want to do while I'm there? Luckily I will have a partner in crime for the last 5 days of the week, but for the first two I will be flying solo, so I might want to have a back up plan just in case lying on the beach directly in front of the hotel gets old.

- Come to terms with the fact that I will most likely not even lay eyes on my brother the entire week that I'm there. My generous, fun brother who is flying his big sis out to visit him. They have changed his schedule dozens of times since we booked my ticket, and this latest change has him out to sea for the entire week, supposedly returning the day that I leave.

He seems ok with it. He didn't try to get me to change my ticket (it would have been too late anyway), and he didn't utter a single bitter line about the fact that he payed for it. All he said was -

"I'm numb to it all at this point. There is nothing the Navy can do to me anymore that will upset me. I'm just too exhausted by it all to get mad. I know you and Jason will have a great time when you're out here, and I'm glad about that. I'm really happy that I was able to do that for you. I'll email you some places to go, and remember - stay away from the West side of the island. It's not as nice."

Maybe it's because I've been stressed about a lot of things lately, but for whatever reason, this situation makes me much more sad than I would have imagined. I'm looking forward to the trip, of course, but I'm getting increasingly nervous about the 48 hours that I'll be out there alone. The fierce part of myself says that it will be awesome - I'll read, write in my journal, take surfing lessons, relax... maybe I'll meet people to hang out with, maybe I won't. Either way will be great.

Unfortunately, the other, more insecure, part of myself seems to be relishing in this opportunity to worry. Worry about the injustice of my brother's situation. Worry that I'll be bored and forced to do nothing but think for two days - I do enough of that at home. Worry about the mole scars that I'll be wearing band-aids over the entire time I'm there. Worry about the additional tests that I have to have on the dense boob spot when I return. Worry about what it will be like with the chef when I get back. Worry that I'm not doing well enough at work.

Maybe there's one more thing I should add to the 'ole To Do list:

- Get your hands on some Valium.

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