See? It's already working. Snippets.

Me: Have you ever noticed that we each religiously hang our toilet paper in the opposite directions?

Him: Yes, actually I have. My way is right.

Me: Nuh-uh!! Hello? Every hotel and every etiquette book - dropping from the top is clearly right.

Him: Nope. I have a very good reason for why you're supposed to have it dropping from the bottom.

Me: Let's hear it.

Him: (dead serious) I remember seeing an episode of, um... Oh, something Family... The crazy old lady when I was a little kid... Uh...

Me: Mama's Family???

Him: Yeah! I remember an seeing an episode of that show where they made reference to that being the right way to have your toilet paper. Dropping from the bottom.

Me: That is the basis for, not only your compulsion to put your toilet paper that way, but also for this argument? A stupid, redneck show from the '70s that you couldn't even remember the name of?

Him: (grinning) Yep! See? My way is right.

Me: (snuggling into his arm crook) Wow. This is the easiest argument I've ever won.