Necessities & other stuff

When a long overdue scuba diving trip to Mexico with a buddy takes my BF out of town for a week, a few days from when I'm due to pick him up from the airport I start fantasizing. But not about the normal things. I don't picture myself running into his arms, I don't envision the fire-storm of "I love you's" that are sure to come my way, I'm not thinking about what will happen once we get home... My thoughts go a little something like this -

"I can't wait for him to try the strawberry jam that I made this week!"

"He's going to want a big glass of milk when he gets home and there won't be any in the 'fridge."

"Are we going to need eggs for Sunday breakfast?"

That's right. I'm daydreaming all week long of the food that I will greet him with. So as the time to pick him up comes near, my list gets longer and longer. The list of things that will be in the grocery bag, that is.

-milk
-bread
-eggs
-homemade strawberry jam
-bananas
-a frozen pizza
-one really good chocolate bar
-a jar of pesto that I made from his basil plant that I was left in charge of for the week
-a batch of his favorite lemon-poppyseed muffins that I whipped up right before I left for the airport

The idea was that it would be a mixed bag of necessities so that he wouldn't feel like he had to rush to the grocery store immediately, and treats to make him happy to be home.

Of course, my list ended up begetting the other things that would have been forefront on most other people's minds. The kisses, the I love you's, the stuff later... Oh, and some surprises of my own in the form of a beautiful turquoise necklace and some rich Mexican chocolate.

I think it's safe to say we're getting to know each other's desires pretty well.

Loved

This morning I took my boyfriend and his friend to the airport at 4:30am. I sat groggily at the wheel, trying not to wake up too much so that it would be easy to slip back into sleep once I was back home, and he alternately rubbed my knee and folded the stray lock of hair behind my right ear. I felt loved.

Two days ago, I complained bitterly about my latest work injustice over Pad See Ew, and he listened. Then he got genuinely incensed about what was happening. It was nice to have someone care so much in an involved way. I felt loved.

Earlier this week we fought over where to go on our upcoming weekend away, and I got mad because I was afraid that his current trip was overriding the plans that we had already made. We sat tensely across the dinner table for a few minutes, and he ignored his burger while I picked at mine. I glanced up for a second to a weird look on his face. "What?" I asked gingerly, not sure if his look was mad or tender. "I just don't know how you can eat that burger with mustard and mayo on it. It's gross." Then he slathered about half a cup of ketchup on his own. We laughed at our standard burger debate and moved on. I felt loved.

This is the man in my life. He is not perfect. He is kind, and funny, and cuddly. He has his issues. I have mine. But we never have trouble finding things to talk about, and after eight months together my tummy still flutters with excitement when I see a new email from him in my inbox. We love each other. And that feels really amazing.

Decisions, decisions...

Does anyone have any strong feelings about the phrase "Leap and the net will appear"?

I'm making some tough life choices over here. Trying to figure out how to have more freedom, more opportunities to be inspired, and less bored and frustrated.

Basically, I just need to be able to do this more -










And I know that there are ways to make that happen.

Grace in Small Things - Day Fourteen

1. A new source who brings me bags of free Meyer Lemons

2. Birthday celebrations that include pitchers of margaritas and tacos

3. Taking the ferry

4. Ballpark food

5. The excitement of new possibilities