Letting go

I've made the decision to stop being obsessed with the idea of getting back together with my ex-boyfriend.

It's the sense of security that I felt when I was with him. It's the way I knew that I could trust him (even if I proved that he couldn't really trust me - at least not with his heart). It's the way we made each other laugh. It's the way he held my hand. It's the way he wrote to me every day when we were in college. It's the way I knew I could call him whenever I wanted to.

It's not him that I want - it's that kind of relationship that I crave. The same sense of mutual respect and adoration, mixed with the same kinds of goals and values.

I feel comfortable in letting the idea of him go, because I feel strongly that what I want is coming to me. Soon. And I'm excited about it.