Eat, Pray... Queef

I am absolutely in awe of Elizabeth Gilbert. Just around two years ago, my good friend Elijah told me that I must read her book, Eat, Pray, Love. I picked it up, plowed through it, and it changed my life. I am here in California because that book inspired me towards the courage to decide that I was ready for a change, and coached me towards the patience that is required to open your heart and allow a change to happen. Moving here was one of the best things I've ever done, and in some way I have Elizabeth Gilbert to thank for it. She taught me to slow down, listen to myself, and take care of my needs.

In preparation for the release of her new book in January (which, naturally, I can't wait for), she is touring around a little bit, talking about and reading from it. Tonight she was at an auditorium about twenty minutes away from where I live. As soon as I saw the marquee announcing her presence a few weeks ago, I immediately got a ticket. I didn't send out an email, I didn't go nuts trying to organize an evening with friends - I just dropped by the box office and purchased a ticket. For myself. Because I knew that it would be a rejuvenating evening, kinda like a spa day for the brain, and I wanted to treat myself to it without allowing myself to indulge in the normal social paranoia that inevitably ensues whenever I try to rally people to an event. So I got a seat towards the back of the auditorium, frugally saving myself about $20, and marked my calendar, giddy with anticipation.

Tonight I drove to the auditorium, had my ticket torn, and took my seat about two thirds of the way back. I sat there for five minutes before she took the stage, mainly looking at my iPhone (you know, because if I'm going to to an hour and a half without looking at it I have to see if anyone has texted, check email, and Tweet about what I am doing before I can turn it to silent) and glaring at the woman seated next to me who had the audacity to poke my elbow accidentally. When she did come on, she addressed the crowd's situation immediately.

Because it was kinda like being in church - most people were sitting towards the back. Hey, there really isn't a bad seat in the house, and it was a good $20 less for the cheap seats! So she addressed the economy, and the way the audience was seated, and then basically told everyone in the back to move forward to the front. I'm not sure if she intended to cause a near-stampede, but suffice it to say, people took her up on her offer in about two seconds flat. Myself included. And not having anyone there with me to slow me down, I managed to deftly scoot through the crowd and snag a front row seat. I could not believe my luck.

She was fabulous. Amazingly articulate. Hilarious. She said fuck at least a dozen times. She answered the few questions that people were allowed to ask with complete genuineness and honesty. She read from her new book. She endearingly showed off her new, sparkly ballet flats. And she said that, yes, she had seen the episode of South Park that mocked her book, titled Eat, Pray, Queef - and she loved it.

I sat there and listened, enthralled, excited, and breathing in slow, even breaths for the first time in a while. Let me explain that last part...

Oftentimes, I am so stereotypical of a certain part of my generation, that it kinda starts to frighten me - the MTV part. Those of us who came of age in the 80s and 90s grew up watching MTV and playing on computers, among other things. What that means is that we are incredibly used to having a lot of information hurled at us very quickly. We can understand and process it with no problems, and then oftentimes just spit it right back out, as if it never even entered our brains in the first place. It is why pretty much everyone I know jokes about having ADD - because for the most part, our attention spans are shit. It's why we don't talk on the phone anymore - sustaining a conversation without having the person right in front of you is too difficult and inconvenient. We send text messages almost exclusively, which allows us to either address quickly, or completely ignore until a more suitable time emerges, whatever issue is at hand. We check Facebook to see what people have been up to, rather than reaching out to find out ourselves, even via email.

When I'm not careful, I can become such a poster child for this generation, it's ridiculous. And lately, that's exactly what I've been. See, what happened is this - I got a job that requires me to be self-motivated and organize a lot of information in my head, and I got an iPhone right around the same time. So with my brain having to kick into a gear that the previous 8 months of under-employment had not required, coupled with the acquisition of a shiny new toy that allows me waaaay to much stimulation at my fingertips, and essentially my mind hasn't been still since. My attention span is all but gone, so I haven't read a book in two months because I can't go two pages without my mind wandering and picking up my phone to check my hotmail. I haven't written anything in two months because I can't organize my thoughts into anything but arbitrary lists. I'm becoming frazzled more easily, and forgetful of little things when that never used to be a problem. Not to grossly mis-diagnose myself here by saying that I actually have ADD, but when one can't stop at a stoplight without picking up her phone to check Twitter, things are getting ridiculous, and slight lifestyle changes are in order.

And it's amazing how contagious energy is. Seeing Elizabeth Gilbert tonight calmed me down internally, in a way I haven't felt in a few months. It's time to consciously bring my mind back down to earth, even if that requires literally imposing limits on myself about how many times a day I'm allowed to look at email, or taking a month off of Facebook, or forcing thirty minutes of uninterrupted reading time a day. Because for me, when my mind starts whirling like it has been lately, it's really hard to keep perspective on the important things - big and small. Like where I want my life to ultimately lead me, and remembering to keep food in the house and clean the litter box.

So that it, really. As of tonight, I'm turning off the TV more, not keeping the phone within arms reach as much, and basically just working on bringing my mind back down to earth a bit. Oh, and starting the countdown to when Elizabeth Gilbert's next book comes out, of course.