Sunday, November 13, 2005

Cutting people out

Tommy, your name is William Thomas Martin...

Yes, it is.

And your father's name was William Blackstone Martin...

Yes, it was.

Who are your brothers and sisters?

I don't have any brothers.

Your sisters are Katie Susan...

This went on for a while. We refer to it as one of her "old favorites". She'll go on and on with the full names of everyone in the family, then listing exactly who they were named after (even if they weren't really named after anyone). Other "old favorites" include I'm going to die soon, No one comes to visit me, and, my personal favorite, You know, your cousin Jay is gay, but I always loved him anyway.

My grandmother is now in a home, for lack of a better word. She's been relatively senile for quite some time, and recently was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. I'm not sure how you can really tell, since her dementia has basically just been heightened in the last few years. She's always been self-absorbed and a bit crazy, now it's just more frequent and consistent.

I rarely go visit her. I never liked her very much anyway, and she won't remember if I was there or not. I can't decide whether I'm being selfish in not going, or whether I'm being smart to cut negative stressors out of my life.

We stayed for about 45 minutes. On the way out my father quipped "God, now I really do need a drink. I can't believe I even came here sober!" He was carrying on with our long standing and always funny joke about the dangers of trying to deal with family without having at least a solid buzz. We rushed out to dinner and got drinks ASAP.

When I got home, I tried to decide whether to go out or stay in for the night. Friends were scattered, rumor had it people were meeting up later. It would have been nice to get out of the apartment, but I wasn't unhappy to be settled in for the night either. I got a call from people, but there was one disconcerning detail - Travis would be there.

The first night I met Travis was at a party. Everyone was drunk, and we started kissing. He wanted more, I was ready to go home. In a last ditch effort to get me to stay with him, he took out his penis and asked me to watch him masturbate.

Suffice it to say that that incident definitely represented a personal low. (And I of course left immediately.)

I've had the opportunity to hang out in groups with him since, but have always politely declined. Not even necessarily because of him, but because at that moment I realized something - I was no longer willing to put up with immature and disrespectful men. Being single for this long has put me into too many situations like that (granted, not quite that bad, but still).

So while it would have maybe been fun to go out last night, I felt the need to take a stand. I've heard that he feels like a total asshole about the incident and is constantly making self-depricating jokes about it. That makes me feel better.

The situations are different, for sure, but I found it interesting that in one evening I had to consider my relationships with two separate people who I have made the conscious decision to not be around.


Anonymous beth said...

I would absolutely love to know what exactly went through his mind that made him think exposing himself and offering you a little "performance" was a good idea.

Probably wise you that you didn't go in the end. Although it seems a bit of a shame to miss out on the opportunity for so many sarcastic comments lol

1:35 PM  
Blogger Rees26 said...

Yeah, I definitely think I did the right thing - but who knows? Next time the opportunity arises (ha ha - I'm punny) I might just have to go out of morbid curiosity as to how he'd act around me.

1:57 PM  
Blogger Phi said...

no matter how many jokes he can make about what he did. Unless he was totally drunk AND under the effect of any available drug on the planet, he's been a real idiot. It's not just about disrespect, it's about being ridiculous and childish... it's not about what he did to you, it's what he did to his reputation!!
it must have been really unpleasant for you, though..I'm sorry.. but, Lord, men don't ever realize how pathetic they are, at times.

2:15 PM  

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