Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Ladies Who Lunch

A certain friend and I have had a joke for months that our goal is to become the ultimate Ladies Who Lunch.

She is closer than I to living the stereotype, being recently married and working part time for her husband, and I just happen to have a job that allows me to take leisurely midday breaks, so once a week or so we treat ourselves to lunch at a different restaurant. We sip white wine, order dessert, and gossip. I have to admit, those broads are onto something - it is a truly pleasant way to spend the early part of the afternoon.

Last week, over our delicate sandwiches and sparkling water, instead of taking my usual passive stance of asking her what she and her husband have been doing lately, and then trying to make my own life sound meaningful, but always feeling like I was falling slightly short, I went off on my new tangent of late. I started telling her about how inspired (there's that magic word again) I had been recently after spending some quality time with certain people. I talked about the different projects I had in the works, some of the trips I was planning, and in general how excited I had been lately about my career and the new ideas that I'd been exploring. When I finally came up for air, I felt the flush in my cheeks that had been brought on by my enthusiastic talking.

And then I realized that this conversation was different than one I've had with this particular friend in a long time. Usually I just sit there like Eeyore and wish that I had what she has. In fact, I've spent a lot of time in the recent past lusting after other people's lives - lives that I had never actually dreamed of for myself, except in the last few years when I've seen them as a way out of the hopelessness that I was feeling with my own life.

What a waste!

Now I am finally turning a corner and reclaiming what it is that I want, and relishing in the power that comes with that, and it feels amazing.

Holy shit, I'm actually finding the strength again to live a life of a woman doesn't know that marriage will ever be for her, and is truly ok with that. A woman who goes after what she wants. A woman who feels passionate, not desperate, on a consistent basis. A woman that other women should look up to.

And a woman who finds amusement in donning a different persona like a hat, and once a week spends a few hours being a Lady Who Lunches, and catching up with a good friend.


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