Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Things I learned at Black Tie & Boots

Being the wine columnist for the mildly popular comes with one perk a year. I get invited to the Black Tie & Boots ball, because I agree to write about it in upcoming columns. It is the annual kick off event for the Virginia State Fair where they announce the Best in Show for the Virginia State Fair wine competition and charge $100 for all-you-can-drink Virginia wine and all-you-can-tolerate live and silent auctions. Live animals and Richmonders with too much money to burn co-habitate in this evening of catered food and bright lighting, and my friend (who pretended to be my photographer) and I ate it up. Well, all of it except for the weird cheese dip - that we left for the plebeians in the tuxedos and cowboy boots.

Having attended said event earlier tonight, here is a list of things that I learned:

1. Pigs have lots of teets.

2. People will bid on some weird shit (like a day of Shad Roasting, and artistic depictions of Harleys).

3. Scoring a glass of wine often comes with having to hear the winemaker talk about his "slightly oaked" Pinot Gris.

4. Mediocre wine and fair rides just don't mix. (So thanks a lot you Aussie pieces of shit who thought it would be cute to keep me on the tilt-a-ride for three entire turns while my friend held my purse and watched my face turn green.) ((No, I did not actually throw up. But I did need help walking afterwards.))

Stay tuned for the upcoming column about the event. It'll take a great deal of self-restraint to not complain about the lack of funnel cake.
(Wine, being dressed up, and farm animals basically sums up the evening.)


Anonymous testest said...

no comment

11:50 AM  
Anonymous Pete said...

Wish I could of made it. Oh yeah nice teets. (on the Piggy)

1:57 PM  

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