My Oscar Nominee Style

I took a quiz. Do you guys think this sounds like me?

Classic with a Twist
Your Star Style: Reese Witherspoon

Your polished, ladylike style is served in a long, cool glass with a shot of personal poise. But you're no strict traditionalist; your appreciation for flattering classics is informed by your own personality and spirit, and you aren't afraid to mix understated standbys with unusual flourishes that are uniquely yours. Your friends love your impeccable taste, and with good reason: You're one pulled-together lady, what used to be called "a class act." You aim to be neither a trend follower nor a trendsetter. Following in the style footsteps of icons Grace Kelly and Audrey Hepburn and now also Reese, Penelope Cruz and Nicole Kidman, your motto is "why fix what ain't broke?" Women have always looked great in black dresses and red lipstick -- and they still do.

Your Must-Haves: At least one luscious cashmere sweater, ladylike slingbacks, a silver compact or lipstick case, a trench coat and the perfect black dress

Your Classic Movies: Rear Window, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Dial M for Murder

Other Celebrity Style Inspirations: Lena Horne and Uma Thurman

A Million Little... whatever

So I just finished A Million Little Pieces for Book Club, and despite all of the controversey, I really enjoyed it. I actually feel sorry for James Frey, and think that while, yeah, he clearly exaggerated a lot, he was probably just a puppet for his publishers and got sucked into this media frenzy that is incredibly indicative of how our society - even Oprah who usually seems above this stuff - will just jump on any idea the media blows out of proportion and beat it until it's a dead horse.

Anyway, that being said, I thought this picture was hysterical.

In case you want to stalk me in Paris this weekend...

Here is where I'll be staying!! Isn't it quaint and beautiful?

Here is a list of things that will happen:

I will stuff myself silly with croissants.

I will drink wine like it it water.

I will recall high school French from somewhere in the dregs of my brain and use it to communicate - in theory.

I will write in my journal.

I will soak everything in, and never forget my first time in Paris.

Weaknesses and Maybes

His weaknesses make me angry.

He made himself vulnerable, and was honest with me first. So I did the same thing in return. It did not produce the desired effect.

So now the things that he told me make me angry. When he speaks, I want to roll my eyes. When I saw him interact with his friends, I wanted to interrupt and say something like, "By the way, he's totally fucked up." (Even though that's not fair.)

When his hand accidentally and barely brushed my leg while he was shifting the gears in his car, my heart jumped into my throat. It used to make me really happy when he touched me.

We smiled and made eye contact a few times, but I always looked away quickly. I didn't want to share moments with him anymore.

Because before when we touched and made eye contact I thought it meant something. I thought we were connecting. I thought we had to be on the same page.

But I guess we weren't. I guess it didn't mean anything to him that he had started to sleep with his arms wrapped really tightly around me, and that I had actually started to become comfortable enough to let him. I guess it didn't mean anything to him that I enjoyed cooking dinner for him, or that we both liked playing board games with each other, or that we were both turned on by the same things.

Because those things had started to mean something to me. And I was shocked and hurt when I found out that apparently they didn't mean as much to him.

He has convinced himself that sorting through his weaknesses is more important than putting forth the effort to be with me. I have convinced myself that I will settle for no less than what I think that I deserve. I am worried that I am being too judgemental, too stubborn, too black and white. I am worried that that is a weakness of mine, and that if I don't overcome it I will never find happiness.

Today I noticed that he doesn't really get my jokes. Maybe that means something. Something that in my want and desire to have someone, I had overlooked. Maybe his inability to understand me, and inability to understand what he's giving up, throwing out, overlooking, taking for granted - maybe that's his biggest weakness of all.

(And maybe it's ok that this post is completely disjointed, probably not making sense to others, and is not tying up neatly at the end. I guess that sentence could describe a lot of things in life. And I maybe I should accept that, and not see those things as weaknesses. Not in myself, or in others.)

Reader Poll - take 3

Let's lighten things up around here, shall we? Everyone play!

1. Can you poop at work?

2. If you were being executed, what would you want your last meal to be?

3. Please share your favorite Rees moment (real life, or blog-related). It's been a rough week, and I could use some validation. Hey, at least I'm honest about it.

4. Which magazines do you subscribe to?

5. If you had a 5 year old daughter who wanted to be in a pageant, would you let her?

6. Brag about one thing that makes you unique.

7. What is your best feature, appearance-wise?

8. Are you allergic to anything?

9. What color are your sheets?

10. Ask me something.

Who says retail therapy doesn't work?

I decided to finally treat myself to the Seatbelt Bag Wallet that I've been eyeing forever at a boutique near my apartment.

Ain't it purdy???

Parts of me

This morning I was fine. I came into work in a relatively cheery mood and busied myself with taking care of a few bills, fillng my social calendar for the rest of the week, and getting more than my fair share of coffee. Yeah, it sucks that I found out that he doesn't want a commitment, but I can move on. I'll use this time to take care of shit and move on.

Then around 11am the funk sunk in. Maybe it's because I'm so incredibly bored, but I've definitely been wallowing in self-pity since then. I'm really trying not to, but with this new disappointment all of the old ones, the ones that I had been doing a pretty good job is displacing for the last month or so, have come flooding back. The failed relationships, the job dissatisfaction, the general unrest and wondering what to do with my life...

I'm not sure what to do. He wants to be friends. Hell, he actually still wants to date me, but he knows that it's not a perfect world and that I won't be able to backtrack like that.

Part of me knows that the mature thing to do would be to remain friends, and the other part of me wants to regain control of the situation by telling him to have a nice life and move on.

Part of me knows that I need to look for a new job, but the other part of me just doesn't know what I want to do.

Part of me wants to be strong and forge on, and the other part of me wants to run and hide.

By the way...

...did I tell you guys that I won this huge ass bottle of wine last week in a raffle contest at my new favorite wine store?





















That's right - it's a 3 liter bottle of wine. 4 times the size of a normal one, which it is pictured next to just to show its true enormity.

Basically, my good luck is on a roll!!!!! I need to go play Powerball or something.

Vegas, Baby!

As if...

... you really need another reason to love Howard Stern, check out this article, which leads with a great quote from him about Brokeback Mountain.

One Day at a Time

I think that it's mainly a control issue. Romantic relationships have been the one thing in my life that I haven't been able to steer in any direction that I wanted them to go. Everything else is relatively easy to control, as long as I have a clear view of what I want - job, where to live, who to be friends with, what hobbies to partake in - all of those things I can handle.

So I start off by playing it cool. Whatever, anything goes, this is fun, but I don't really need it, that kind of thing. But within a matter of weeks, the "shoulds" come into play. "Well, we've been dating for two weeks, I should see him this weekend." Or, "If he doesn't call me today, I should be mad and not answer his call right away."

I know how irrational both of those sentences sound, along with all of the other "should" sentences that creep into my mind. I know it. But I can't help thinking them.

So occasionally you meet someone who follows all of the "shoulds". Oh my God, he's playing everything by the book. Wow, he wants to hang out with me. Holy crap, he's treating me with respect. Um... I have a great time with him. Shit, this is good.

And that's when the real panicking starts.

Because past experience has told you that it's only a matter of time until he disappoints you. You're not in the clear yet, don't let your guard down. You've gotten this far before to only have the rug ripped out from under your feet before, it could easily happen again.

So you start second guessing everything that you do and say. Is it safe to ask him to come over for dinner? Does this story about something you did in college make you sound fun and full of life, or stupid and immature? If you reach out and kiss him, will you seem clingy, or will be appreciate the gesture?

And the biggest one of all - should you come clean a little bit about the anxiety that you're feeling? Not a major confessional or anything, just maybe a small explanation of why you may seem a little tense, or why you have trouble letting your guard down?

There's something really scary about the thought of making yourself vulnerable like that. On one hand, you can definitely be surprised at what people can handle, and isn't it our vulnerabilities that make us human and lovable? On the other hand, what if he can't handle it and freaks out because it's too soon, or he sucks, or it makes you seem like a complete nut job?

You ponder. And you worry. And you think.

Then you talk to a couple of good friends, hungry for assurances that you have nothing to worry about and that you're doing good. Sure, you have these issues, but you're handling them well. You're doing good.

Take things one day at a time, they tell you.

And then you stop. That's brilliant! One day at a time. Don't worry about what is going to happen tomorrow, or this weekend, or next week, or next month, or next year. Stop and enjoy his company. Enjoy the fact that you have someone to cook for tonight. Enjoy his kisses. Enjoy life in the now, or you might miss it - which is really your biggest fear anyway.

If I had a dollar...

...for every time either my father or my stepmother asked me, in all seriousness, if the red wine they've just bought should be chilled... well, I'd have like $10.

Ok, not exactly a small fortune. But I still think that it's a bit ridiculous. I'm not trying to be snobby, but shouldn't two educated, reasonably cultured adults in their 50's know that red wine does not need to be chilled? (Especially considering the fact that one of their children lives, breathes, writes about, and constantly brings over the stuff?)

Sigh.

Sufficiently Humbled

I used to live in New York City, and while I have made the conscious decision to move back down South and live a slower-paced life, I still like to think that I am relatively hip. I wear heels. I go to art exhibits. I watch Bravo. I live in an urban area. I go to trendy restaurants. I know a lot about wine. I get into battles of wit, and often win.

But there is nothing like having the entire staff at O'Charley's surround your table clapping, singing, and presenting you a piece of "caramel pie" while you're at the obligatory birthday lunch with your well-meaning grandparents to bring you right back down to earth.

Oh my God. I really do seem to have chosen a life in middle-America.

Gulp.

One year

Today marks my one year anniversary of living here:











This is the longest I've lived anywhere since college, and I am constantly celebrating the fact that I am not packing up boxes and having to connect utilities. I have completely fallen in love with the old Southern building, complete with white columns and a tree-lined sidewalk on the street. This is the first place I've lived that has 100% suited me, and I've delighted in making it my own.

Will I stay here forever? No. But for right now, it's perfect. Please enjoy a few images from my home.

Who does that?

All in all, my birthday was fabulous - and it's not even over yet! The weekend will be full of festivities. Festivities that I'm sure, no matter how fun they end up being, will not yield a story quite as good as the one from dinner last night with my wonderful friends.

Four of my wonderful friends took me out to dinner last night. We chose a restaurant that is pretty popluar in town - famous for it's authentic Italian food, rustic atmosphere, and minimal service. Exactly my kind of place. Any place that serves wine in juice glasses is a-ok by me because to me that is what wine, and food, and birthdays are about. No frills, just gettin' down and having a good time with good friends.

But I digress. On to the story.

About halfway through our meal we stopped to take a few pictures of the group. During our picture taking we were being really tame, not at all loud and obnoxious. (Though it should be pointed out that if we were being loud and obnoxious, this particular restaurant's down and dirty setting would have been the perfect place to do it.) After about four pictures we were interrupted.

"Excuse me, could you calm it down with the picture taking? It's getting really annoying."

It was a woman who apparently was sitting at a table near us. She smugly sat back down and we all stared at her, mouths agape. For about two seconds.

"Uh, it's her birthday!" Leah gasped.

"That is totally innappropriate!" Chase said loudly, facing her table.

"Who does that?" I mused.

We promptly decided to not make a scene and just go about our business, completely ignoring her. Anyone who would ask someone to stop taking pictures, especially in such an informal place, is obviously a completely selfish nutcase.

Dinner, and amplified picture taking, continued. A delicious tiramisu with a candle came out, and we started to wrap up our meal.

The rude woman's table finished before we did and left. A few seconds after they went out the door, one of the men who was with her came back and approached us.

"I am so sorry. There is no excuse for her. I hope you have a great birthday," he said emphatically.

As if that justification wasn't enough, the table who had been next to the rude woman started exclaiming to us about how they couldn't believe what they had witnessed and how crazy that woman was. Apparently she spent a large amount of time turning around to the other table and trying to get them to join in her crusade against us, which they of course refused to do.

Then there was the piece de resistance: our waitress.

"Guys, we never put candles in cakes. It's seriously forbidden. I just did that in hopes that you would sing really loudly and piss that horrible woman off even more."

That was the best present I could have ever gotten. Happy Birthday to me!

Ay-oh, oh-ay

People who share my birthday:

Mena Suvari
Joe Pesci
Sherri

And the best of all - Judith Light.

27

Happy Birthday to me!

Here is the birthday sombrero that was waiting for me in my cube this morning. Ole!










Hmmm... do I need to change the name of my blog now?

At long last

New wine reviews!!!

The site was on hiatus from accepting new submissions while the guys who run it were on vacation in Chile, but we got word this week that we could start posting again. So scoot on over to my page at NoMerlot.com and read my new reviews. The top three were submitted today. Feel free to comment over there too.

Rees Overanalyzes Something: Case # 342987

Last night at the grocery store I went through one of those U-pay lines where you scan and pay for everything without the aid of a cashier. I paid with cash and bent down to get my change. While I was waiting for my $3 to spit out I noticed that there was already a ten dollar bill in the tray.

I looked around. No one was coming for it or talking to a manager about it or anything. So into my wallet it went.

I was a bit torn. Had I seen the person who forgot it I would have definitely told them about it and given it back. But it could have been there for an hour for all I knew, and finding $10 is nice.

So the question is this: is this good luck or bad karma?

Reader Poll - take 2

1) Are, or were, you closer to your mother or father?

2) What time did you get up this morning?

3) What is the one website you must visit every day?

4) What do you eat when no one else is around?

5) Have you ever been in love?

6) Have you ever been skydiving? Would you go, or would you go again?

7) How old were you when you lost your virginity?

8) How often do you read this blog?

9) Do you get this reference: "You are my density... I mean, my destiny." (If you do get it, don't say what it's from or I'll be forced to remove your answers!)

10) Ask me something.

Boo-yah!

I put $2 into an office Superbowl pool and won the grand prize of $75.

I love football! (Now.)

Many of you will be happy to hear that I will be spending part of the winnings on this.

Many of you will consider that to be TMI.

Oh well.

"Dream" du Jour

It's fairly widely known to the people in my life that my current career path is, well, less than 100% satisfactory. I go through ups and downs, of course - in fact lately has been an up period and I'm not nearly so miserable as I was during my Self-Imposed Seclusion (see January archives) - but the fact remains that doing this kind of work is not how I would choose to live out the rest of my days.

When I talk to people about it, they ask me what I would "really love to do?" In other words, what is your dream?

Um... shit, I'm not sure.

Yeah, there are some alternative ideas that I've kicked around, but most of them have just occurred to me in the last year or so. And they're just that - ideas. I don't think that any of them really qualify as a "dream". They're all just things that I think would be cool, not burning desires that I feel my life would be incomplete if I don't accomplish.

To further complicate things, I'm very happy with my life right now, with the slight exception of my job situation. I can honestly say that there is nothing else I would change. But some of the ideas that I have kicked around - getting a masters in Library Sciences, living abroad for a year, or moving back to New York to do wine marketing - would require major life changes that, frankly, I have no desire to make right now. And then there are the ideas that just plain don't know how to make happen - like writing for a food and wine magazine.

So I've got an interesting dilemma here - not currently happy with my career, yet not necessarily willing to make huge strides to change the situation. Does that make me lazy or unmotivated? I don't think so. I think it just makes me confused. And I'm not willing to turn my lovely life upside down on something that just qualifies as an "idea that I'm throwing around".

But at the same time, I don't want to remain in this state of limbo for too much longer - not gettin' any younger, and all that jazz. It's just that in the past whenever I've made big decisions I've always been sure without a doubt that that was what I wanted to do. Right now I'm not sure about anything, so I'd rather hang tight in a not-so-bad situation, even if it's not what I want to do forever, until I figure some things out.

Good plan.

Quote of the Day

"Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas."

I hate my 10 brothers

All of my stoopid college friends still keep in touch. We have this stoopid ListServe where we can email one address and everyone gets it. Most of the stoopid emails are dedicated to stoopidly analyzing sports, tv shows... Wait that not true. We mostly just try to out-wit each other, make fun of each other for stoopid things we did in college, and say mean things about our former professors. (And when I say "professors", that is actually code for "other theatre majors that we disliked for no good reason".)

Ok, so we're all a bunch of assholes.

And now my fellow assholes know that I have a blog, and they read it. And the boys make fun of it, and misinterpret it, and put snarky remarks in the comment box that I'm always afraid that the anonymous readers will take seriously and think I'm lame. Then I call them on it, and they make fun of me even more and refuse to stop.

Gosh.

It's like having ten brothers or something. The more they tease me and piss me off, the more I tell myself to just ignore it. Which of course never works. So then I stew and get mad and plot ways to stop them. Then someone says something funny and I laugh and get mad at myself for laughing. I hate these guys, remember?

But then I do remember. I love these guys. It feels like we've known each other forever. They've always loved me, and thought I was pretty - even in college when I had really bushy eyebrows. And thought I was funny - even when I was in that horrible contact improv show called "Conic Sections". And thought I was smart - even when I blow the final question in Trivial Pursuit. And supported me - even when I've had no clue what I was doing with my life.

Just like real brothers, I guess. Thanks, guys. I love you too. And I'll pay you back for the snarky comments by posting embarrassing pictures. Just like a real sister would.

Me likee!!

Thanks be to Daily Candy for introducing me to this site.

I'll take a Berry Basket, please.

Dead on

Ya'll scoot on over to Waiter Rant and take a look at his assessment of what your drink says about you. Many of you know that when it comes to cocktail time (which is different from sippin' on wine or chuggin' beer time) I'm a die hard gimlet girl. Ketel One, straight up, lots of lime.

Needless to say, I was very happy with his description of a gimlet drinker.

Bring on the stones

I'm sure this confession will lead to a virtual crucifiction by the cooler-than-thou blog community, but you know what? I love small dogs, especially pugs. And furthermore, I love small dogs who are dressed up in outfits. So I found this picture to be adorable:











And I'm not ashamed to admit it.